Free cyber chat no login or sign up

While I um and ah about forking out another wedge, the messages start to arrive.

One is old enough to be my mother and has a username that, without giving too much away, is an instruction to engage part of my mouth with a baked good she has in her possession.

He sounds lonely – his family is away in the countryside and he works in London Monday to Friday, longing for someone to “share a glass with”.

Browsing through the website’s members’ pages, I see about 18,760 men in London aged 40-49 signed up to the site, compared with 4,730 women in the same age range. Some advertise themselves as religious; most are older men who know they are out of my preferred age range, but “just want to say hi anyway”.

A spokesperson declined to comment, but instead pointed me to a press release which stated: “At this time, we have been able to secure our sites. After a few dead-end conversations, a flashing box invites me to “call collect” with a user.

We are working with law enforcement agencies, which are investigating. There’s the option to send digital gifts: a teddy bear, a rose or a sapphire necklace (at £16! I swap the last of my credits for 30 minutes of live chat.

Within seconds of joining the 1.01 million “genuine” users of for “investigation”, I have nine new messages from potential suitors and 25 profile views.

As a new user, my profile is given prime place in the gallery of fresh young meat for the taking. A few are from the same persistent man, who tells me he “just wants to talk to me” because “it’s refreshing to see a genuine person on here and not some troller”.

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Priming myself not to lie or deceive, I set up a profile.I hit the first hurdle when both usernames Naughty Boy88 and Naughty Boy1988 are taken.I’m also dismayed to find that Naughty Boy69 is also unavailable. Two hours later my inbox is still ringing hollow – not a single response.Which, it transpires, involves taking out my credit card. He’s been a member for three months and has parted with £350.Aping a provincial nightclub, women are granted full use of the site free of charge, while men have to pay. I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t just sign up for the Affair Guarantee Package of 2,000 credits at a reasonable £229.80.

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